What's in a name

When I first met Sandra, my second wife, her name was Sandra Biles; Martin Biles had been her first husband. When we got married she didn’t really like the name Rutherford so she kept the name Biles. Later, this was in the 70’s she decided she wanted to pick her own name. The judge at her earlier divorce had told her she could use any name as long as there was no intention to do illegal things. Her maiden name was Stipelkovich. I think I have that right. She wasn’t exactly in love with that name either so she looked around for a name. Her parents often used the name Stipel when getting reservations or meeting someone they would never meet again. She felt her maiden name was too complicated. She finally hit upon the name Lee, Sandra Lee. So she became Sandra Lee and started to change her name everywhere. She really enjoyed it. "Sandra Lee, AKA … AKA … AKA Sandra Rutherford.

In the late 70’s our relationship was having lots of problems. We went through a couple of separations. The last one was over a year and a half. I was gone. Except for our son Corey I wanted nothing to do with Sandra Lee. She would not let me see Corey and I struggled with that. Corey was only 4. After about a year she was saved, became a Christian, and joined the local neighborhood church. She became a changed woman. She changed her name to "Sandra Rutherford". She wanted me back. Slowly I was drawn back. Maybe all of the problems were resolved. Finally I decided to return and it worked for a while.

Ten years later it was worse. Sandra was the unhappiest woman I have ever been around. It was not working. I was loosing my health. I had heart rhythm problems; my teeth were about to fall out. I couldn’t hold it together. We had gone to counseling several times, but it never worked. The last one had said to Sandra, "Did you ever think that maybe you take up too much room in this relationship?" I knew we wouldn’t go there again. I left Sandra Rutherford. I went to see a counselor on my own. My health improved and my life got better. Of course I couldn’t see Corey. Ultimately even that worked out. Before his senior year of high school she kicked him out and he came to live with us (Anita & I).

So Anita is my third wife. Her name when we got together was Lankford. When we married I decided we would take the first part of my last name and the last part of her last name and we became Richard & Anita Rutherford. What’s in a name?